There has been a lot of negativity lately in the world and I see it every day with people lacking confidence and feeling down on themselves. I have talked with several people in the adult baby and diaper lover world and over time have noticed a trend of people being very down on themselves and judging themselves for having/wanting to wear diapers. I just wanted to make this post a positive one and maybe one that will help some people.
Diapers don’t and should not define you. They are merely a part of your life – one single part. Once you realize that then you can start helping yourself. There are so many things that define you and diapers are merely one part. Everyone is unique in their own way and you should not let one or two things define your self-worth. People are going to judge you every day of your life unfortunately and once you learn to not care so much what others think too much you can also start to help yourself. You are BEAUTIFUL inside and out. There are a lot of things out there 100 times worse what you could be doing such as drugs, drinking, etc. Diapers can be a positive aspect of your life if you let it and don’t feel guilty for it being part of your life. Where you can get yourself into trouble I have found is when you start letting it affect your social life and encompassing your thoughts.
Answer this question to yourself…do you find yourself wanting to stay in on a Friday or Saturday night so you can just wear diapers and mess around in them instead of going out with friends or something social? If your answer to this is “yes” then you may need to reevaluate how you are handling the diaper aspect of your life. You do not want to let something like this consume your life and keep you from being social and keep you from your relationships. All these things have an effect on your sense of well being and confidence.
Life is just too short to beat yourself up over your looks or little nuances that you think are so different then everybody else. Everybody has quirky things about them, not weird – but quirky. Because what I define as weird could be totally different then what somebody else does. But, quirky is a universal term where whatever it is could be “different” but not weird. Different is a subjective term also but most people can define “different” from “weird” in their own mind. The fact is, everybody has their quirks and how you choose to view your quirks whether it is diapers or anything else can have an impact on your self-worth and confidence. So, starting today – take a look at yourself and find the positives in your life and start looking at your quirky things as something that defines you as unique rather than different. Put a positive spin on it and be confident in yourself that God made you unique and you have a purpose. You are beautiful inside and out…so be confident in yourself!.
Yes that is my Beautiful. I’d like it back. 😀
I thank you for helping me what the understand the DL community is about. I am a relative newcomer to this, and whilst I don’t necessarily feel the need to point this out, I am a very functional rational human being in many ways, who is married to my soul mate. I especially appreciated your post entitled “The intelligence within the community”. You are doing a good this thing with this blog, and I look forward to reading and commenting on future posts…
Couldn’t have been said any better. I thought this was posted once before on your site. It’s good to put out there as a good reminder for folks in this community. I find it amazing that you write and get your thoughts out on paper so well for your age. Thanks for the post!
Stay beautiful 🙂
thanks adrian. that was very well put, and needed to be said.
WOW !! Well put, nicely said
Well said Adrian. While your piece focuses on those with a fetish who may feel down due to a certain level of “guilt” or “shame”, your premise also applies to those with incontinence who may feel down due to “embarassment” or “humiliation.” I have tried hard over the past 20 months to remind myself I am the same person I have always been even though I now require a diaper. I seem to go through waves where I am confident and happy, only to have that confidence shattered by a public leak or bowel accident that brings me down hard. I have always been a social person, so it is very hard to feel myself retreat after such a incident. I seem to be fine with people who have no idea I require a diaper, but as soon as something happens to reveal my “secret”, I have a difficult time facing them again for fear of what they may now be thinking about me.
The one thing I hate about my diaper “hobby” for lack of better word, is how it relates to my profession. I’m US Military. I’m afraid if I ever got caught my career would be over. I’m also nervous about applying for a TS Security Clearance, because they may find it then. While I enjoy this hobby now and then, I’m really afraid of the consequences of my actions.
i feel the exact same way, i don’t feel like the same person. my sister is helping me a lot through this problem, she is awesome, i suggest that you talk about it with someone and it might relieve a lot of stress and embarrassment. it is really nothing to be embarrassed about. thousands of people young and old wear them for fun and because they need them. its just socially not very acceptable to talk about them or to wear them if you don’t need them.
Your career would be over if you LET your superiors hold it over your head. If you are ashamed of them (diapers) and fear public disclosure of them, then you may become a security risk should someone blackmail you about them.
If you can treat them as a simple sexual escapade, same as some people like light bondage or red high-heels, and you do not fear security personnel nor your superiors finding out that you like things a little kinky, then you are not a security risk, since blackmailing you about it would have no power over you.
Thank you so much. I never looked at it that way before. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. Still don’t mean I won’t practice, oh what word am I looking for… Disclosure? Security? Privacy? One of those words. Either way, thanks.
Jay, I understand the military has certain rules and laws you folks have to follow that civilians don’t. You may want to do some research on this if this is a big concern, especially if your making a career out of the military. If not, then your hobby can be put on hold depending on how much you really need them. I have an over active bladder and emotionally need them. I am just now coming to terms with this. Have spent years with shame and guilt. Just now relizing there are others out there in the community just like me. A misserable way to live. I no longer want to hide it. It is something only you know and can evaluate what is right and not quite sure about treating it as a sexual thing. Anyhow, best of luck!
Discretion. That’s the word. Practice discretion, be responsible in your actions, and keep control of your impulses.
Develop a flexible schedule where you can enjoy yourself for a time, then be able to put whatever you are doing for relaxation / gratification aside so you can go back to work. Deployments are tough, as you’re pretty much under a microscope the whole time. When you get back, though- Enjoy yourself a little, but be careful to set it up in a way that maintains discretion.
I also want to say, “Thank You!” I am a civilian DOD (Navy) welder, and I appreciate your service to our country.
Shame and Fear are probably the two biggest weaknesses that allow blackmailers to control the subject. Do not allow shame or fear to dominate you. For you, diapers are simply a kinky way to spice up your sex life a little. If people give you a ration of crap about it, turn it into a joke and tease them about how they would look cuter with a binky than you would 😉
I’m glad that you’re coming to terms with your emotions. It’s a big accomplishment for anybody. So to you, I say congratulations. As for the Military, I plan on making it a career. I don’t think there are any rules, except for Article 133 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ), which is conduct unbecoming. It’s kind of the catch all. As a Soldier, I need to represent the Service in a favorable light at all times, and do nothing that would detract from a professional appearance. As a “civilian” or on my off time, I have to be careful, but not as careful.
First off, you’re welcome. It’s truly an honor for me to serve. Second, I’m one step ahead of you for the schedule and discretion thing, but I appreciate the words of affirmation. Third, Navy Welder even if as a DoD Civilian is tough, so I appreciate what you do. And finally, I already take enough crap on a daily basis that this would just add on to the stack.
@Tony & tinlizziedl
Thanks for the words of advice and encouragement!
I had read a couple of articles that involved Military personel. The part about “conduct unbecoming” was what concerned me and led to my first comment.
Sounds like your ahead of the game and keep a sharp mind. That’s why we need individuals like you in the military.
I loathe most of the other sites out there. I’m glad that Adrian has provided a professional site for parents and others to educate themselves. It helps people know they’re not alone and seems to give good advise.
Thank you for your servcie!
Thank you for your comment. I assure you it is nothing but an honor for me to serve. I just wish my worlds wouldn’t collide. I just love this job too much for me to leave it. I appreciate your kind words. In my job, attention to detail could make the difference between coming home, and coming home dead. We pride ourselves on that fact. Well, once again thank you, and take care!
I too was in the service, In fact I was in the service when I first realized the world of diapers and how much I loved to wear them. I was very discrete about them too. I lived on base when I started wearing and proceeded to get a place off base afterward. I met many people that also love wearing diapers. This was more then 10 years ago. I was never ashamed of my love for diapers. But I didn’t publicize it either. It was something I did in the privacy of my own home. I say stick with it. There is nothing in the military rules that say you can’t do this. But I wouldn’t go asking your superiors for a diaper change. But otherwise I see nothing wrong with what you are doing. But then again I am not the one that makes the rules, oh and I still to this day love being heavily diapered. No Harm, No Foul.
Thank you for your advice. Being a single lower enlisted, I’m stuck in “The B’s”. That’s slang for “The Barracks”. Every now and then I’ll find some time to sneak off post and get some “me time”. Thanks for the advice.
love your articles. I just wanted to give my response on being proud of being a ab/dl. I will continue to read your blogs and voice my opinion.
Great article. I had a near fatal accident when I was in my late teen years which left me with almost complete bowel incontinence. I guess I was lucky as that is the only lasting side effect from that accident. Other than that I am 100%. That was almost 20 years ago and I beat myself up in the beginning with feelings of embarrassment and self worth….. but I got over it and have done quite well for myself. I am married, 2 kids, and a great job.
My biggest problem these days is finding a place online where I fit in. I am not an adult baby but over the years I have come to accept and enjoy wearing diapers. I don’t fit in in the incontinence groups as most of them are full of people who have lost complete control of everything and hate diapers. Being only bowel incontinent is quite rare.
Like yourself I created a website to express myself. . I made it more fetish oriented than your blog as I found almost all servers put this stuff in the adult category even after I told them “thanks for labeling my disability”. I have found that the fetish community in particular the adult baby community is very accepting .
I like your blog and keep it up as its great to get stuff off your chest with people who understand.
If anyone wants to know the new Bellissimo is in.
Well I am just wondering, I know you are a diaper lover but do you also enjoy being an adult baby as well?
I’ve recently been diagnosed with overactive bladder and am thinking about wearing diapers. Arriving at the fact that I would need it sooner or later was enough to drive me to depression and thoughts of suicide because I live a very stressful and competitive life and had to be out there. But you’re right. You have been wearing diapers all your life and you see that there’s nothing wrong with it. You’re so wise. It’s not the incontinence that’s the problem, it’s how we perceive incontinence that’s the problem. You made me learn to love myself once more. Thank you for saving my life.
Adrian has a great blog here with a great many articles talking about how to live with incontinence. There are also a lot of reputable websites dealing with various forms of incontinence and OAB (over-active bladder).
Many of the medical sites seem to push drugs and / or surgery as a “cure.” When you stop and think about it, you’ll realize that doctors and pharmaceutical companies make lots and lots of money from surgery and drugs without ever approaching a 100% success rate. Going that route is the same as thowing money away in Vegas, in my opinion.
I decided that simply living with my incontinence was better than drugs and surgery for a number of reasons.
I also look at it this way- virtually every grocery store in the USA has a section of an aisle dedicated to incontinence products. Everything from light pads up to and including full adult diapers. If people didn’t need them, would the stores carry them?
The number of websites selling adult incontinence aids is staggering, as well. If you think about it, supply wouldn’t be there if not for demand. I believe the guesstimates about the prevailence of adult incontinence in our society are far lower than the real numbers.
Adrian’s site here is one of the few that will help you come to terms with incontinence, rather than pushing you into surgery or drugs. That goes a long way with me in earning my esteem.
Best of luck to you, and know that you are not alone in this!
To Addy, First thank you for your service! I’m not in the service. However, that is a regret I have in my life. That gave me a chuckle about “don’t go asking your superiors for a diaper change.” I’m not into the AB thing. It doesn’t bother me nor do I judge those who are. I have occasional wettings at night and an over active bladder. So, I am a diaper lover and wear 24/7. I have loved wearing them ever since I could remember. I grew up feeling ashamed and guilt. This pulled me into depression and I’ve tried suicide twice in the past. I have never met anyone in person or know anyone who has this like. It would be nice someday to meet a friend that I could just confide in, be myself and go out and do normal things without someone making a big deal of me wearing diapers. I treat them as my underwear. So, as you said no harm no foul. :). Thanks for your feed back and support. Everyones feed back helps me daily.
To Holly, I have shared your emotions for years. So I’m glad to hear that Adrians site has helped you. I wish I would have found something like this years ago. It would have saved me so much heart ache. At least now there is!
Too all, “happy wearing” and I look forward to seeing others comments.
@tinlizziedl and Tony:
Thanks so much. I’m so happy to get this out of my chest and hear kind words in return. This is a great blog!
Some of us also drink and do drugs recreationally you know, why do these kind of posts always go there? Just like diapers, an indulgence best enjoyed in moderation for most people 🙂
So true. A fetish is only a problem when it becomes a hindrance to a normal work and social life. I think some people have a tendency to take things way too far, the kind of ABs you often see on TV shows about weird sexual fetishes. In moderation, as a hobby, I think any lifestyle that makes you happy can only be a good thing – but it shouldnt prevent you going out, having a good time and socialising with friends, or keeping a full time job.
@ Jay Scott
Don’t worry bout it too much.I have a friend in the army that wears women’s underwear all the time. He is stationed in Isrial and 2 weeks ago his commanding officer discovered that he was wearing them and asked him “why are you wearing those” and my friend said he responded with “it is my understanding that you can no longer ask me questions about it” and his commanding officer said “your right” and backed down.
The way I see things is simple: the only thing that matters is are you comfortable with your “underwear” preference? If you are then nothing else matters. Besides if “caught” you can always use the “excuse” “I lost a bet”
@ holly I too have had the same thoughts and still trying to trying except this diagnoses its nice to see others out there like myself and looking for tips and advice on how to overcome the embrassment and guilt of wearing them out in public I have very supportive wife that keeps me going just looking for ppl that understand it better
What do I do? I just ” borrowed”
What do I do I just borrowed some diapers wink wink and hid them. I don’t know if my friends will understand I can’t hid it from them forever please helpppp!!!!!
B.T.W. yes I am a girl and you can call me Athena or Anna thks.
Last message didn’t go through srry.
@ Anna just have confindence in yourself and who you are and any true friend would listen they might take it a little weird just re wp_e them that it doesn’t change who you are as person I have lost friends and girlfriends over it but that just means they weren’t real friends or relationships to start with cause real friends would love and treat you the same hope it helps you
Thanks Matt that kind of helped but how do i get them to not tell anyone else and spread the secrete in school and in other places. This one question i am about to ask you also may help a lot: currently i have 3 diapers 1 does not work one almost does not work and the third one im not to sure. Where could i find some other diapers i cant by them. Please help me if you can i am in desperation to get diapers. I have had this sudden love of diapers for 4 to 5 years and i CANT GO ANOTHER YEAR WITHOUT THEM PLEASE HELP. I will check back and respond on 4/11/2012 or two days from now. I will be on at 12:00 here please also be here so we can discuss this. B.T.W my parents cant find out and my time zone is eastern standard time. If you help that would be great but just try to be online at 12 oclock EST thanks.
Anna answer to your first question its all in how much you trust that person or people . And the answer to your second question if you can’t buy them is a hard love to have if u had a way to order online ot your local grocery store good luck my friend
WILL YOU BE ONLINE TOMMROW?
aT 12 O CLOCK
Yeah I will
Great thanks B.T.W. wearing diaper right now
Anna I have a yahoo messenger id might be easier to chat babybubba85
i have a hotmail account will that work????
B.T.W> is it possible to “diaper Train” yourself
@ Athena (Anna):
Please be careful in contacting people you meet on the internet. This is a respectable blog, but not every single person here may be respectable, if you get my drift.
If you cannot buy diapers for yourself from a pharmacy, grocery store, or some other “brick and mortar” seller, nor can you buy diapers online and recieve a shipment of them, you may have to be satisfied with your imagination (augmented by the internet).
I lived without them for years until I could finally buy my own. It won’t kill you to live without them until you feel ready to buy a package.
@ Matt: You need to be careful, too. How can you be sure “Anna” isn’t a cop trying to lure you into a trap? Or, possibly even more dangerous, a genuine underage ab/dl ? We all wish we could have found helpful adults when our underage selves first discovered our fetish, but we all condemn adults who talk to any minors about anything remotely sexual in nature. Tough line to walk.
In short: Both you you! Be CareFul! Please.
Im not a cop in a 12 year old girl my god the nerve of some people
I am 12 year old girl my god the nerve of some people
I ask that we please not have a full conversation back and forth on my comments section – if you want to have personal conversations back and forth please exchange IM screen names or emails. Would appreciate it 🙂
@ tinlizzedl thanks for the advice I totally forget about that and that scares me now I’ll keep that I mind next time I repost a comment and I love your comment about not being able to buying them we all have been there at some point in life thanks again
Thanks for concern but Id care
Matt what’s your email?
Hey Adrian I have a question
Adrian, my baby cousins are visiting and For a weird Reason their diapers fit me perfectly. ( ages 1 and 2) so for every time I see them I borrow, wink wink 4 Or 5 and so far I have ten of the same kind. All the ones I have are a tottal of 14 what number should I get ( number of diapers) before I actually start using them? I will try to get in 3 to 4 wettings before I change many less depending on absorbency and stuff like that. Please answer ASAP THANKS if u can. The number I was thinking of was between 20 and 30 mabay 40 but idk please help!!!!!!!
Nicely said!! 🙂 when ever I listen to Kelly Clarkson Stronger( what doesn’t kill you) and think about this artical. I smile and think this is how God made me and this is how I am. I’m just the same person just with different intrests. Again beitifuley said( srry about spelling)
Thank you s much for this site and your honest posts.
I feel like I was guided here by fate (god ?) I dont know but well I was with a girl I loved dearly for 6 years but she cheated on me not once but twice. we split up 3 weeks ago and after finding out she cheated on me for the second time I asked her to leave (one of the hardest things I have had to do). so yeah we split up and she was always cool with me wearing diapers and appeared to have no problem with them, the thing is after this happened I find myself questioning whether her apparently being cool with me wearing was actually true and maybe in some way it was what made her leave.
I just dont know what to think right now,
Sorry for some reason it posted without me meaning to >.<
Anyway to carry on …..
yeah I feel like even tho diapers are a major part of my life and she said she was cool with it all, she still left me for another "man" it makes me question myself and in some ways hate myself for having this diaper desire. I try and stop wearing but I just dont seem to be able to go more than 1 or 2 days at the most before having to get back into a diaper. I now sit here alone and kind of hate myself for having this desire that just doesnt go away. Will I be single for the rest of my life ? Should I try and stop this desire to wear (been thinking of going 24/7) god I just dont know.
This post has really helped me/made me think what do I do now, fight the desire that is truly me and try and live normally and get a normal g/f or use this as an opportunity to say fuck it this is me and im gonna do what I want with my life and if I meet someone then they have to know this is who I am !
sorry to go on and on but tbh just writing this has been quite cathartic for me.
I kind of feel life is too short to live worrying about what others may think of me and after all arent we all just souls, beings of light and energy ? why should I be forced to wear normal underwear when wearing diapers makes me feel good ?
Well thanks again Adrian its people like you that make me want to carry on living.
Try overcorecction that’s what I’m trying. In other words wear them for a month straight and don’t take them off no matter how sick u get for having to where them. Also where them 24/7 during the month. I just started this tonight and my school is going on a class trip to splash lagoon. Yes i am going to be wearing them there under my bathing suit in front of my entire grade.
BTW love the post Adrain I was crying in tears as I finished reading it. I actually wet my diaper because I accidentally lost control at the same time so I had to change myself. Good luck.