The ABDL world is a complicated one and consists of people from all walks of life. Everyone from doctors, lawyers, construction workers, teachers, and the list goes on and on. I for one look at the adult baby and diaper lover world as an extremely unique community that is completely different than any other community. There is not really a community out there that enjoys doing things that are similar to the ABDL world that is harmless in its purest form but yet can bring so much joy. But, this world of ABDLs has in my mind given themselves a bad name in many aspects and really has brought more harm than good to the community.
The ABDL world is first looked at in a negative light and associated with kids unfortunately. An outsider looking in automatically is going to associate diapers with kids and while this is unfortunate, it is understandable. What is not understandable and unacceptable in my mind is those people who enhance this image by engaging in activities that will only further this view. While I understand there are always bad apples in any group, I don’t think it does us justice when there are a whole lot of “borderline” apples that engage in forums and chat alongside or with people that are under the age of 18. I think this is wrong and however innocent it may be in many cases, it is not in many other cases. Unfortunately sites such as ADISC, while providing a decent community, is filled with underage kids as well as teenbabies and adult diaper lovers and babies. This setup is a breeding ground for disaster but also is not a good look for the ABDL community. The site basically is an invitation to anyone with a computer and internet connection to come “innoncently” talk to underage people about diapers…this in my mind is wrong and breeds negativity. There are many “good” people at places like ADISC but there are also many sickos, perverts, and the likes that harbor around this community because they know what it is and how to bend the rules to satisfy whatever need they want. That is why I highly disapprove of sites like ADISC and the likes of them and feel they really are a bad apple in the ABDL community.
Sites such as DailyDiapers are good wholesome communities that is specifically for ADULT babies and diaper lovers over the age of 18. They do not invite nor set up specific threads for underage people. DailyDiapers as a whole is great forum that has a lot of engaging people that are 95% of the age of 18 which is how its suppose to be!
The outside world does not understand what goes on in the ABDL community as well as someone like me or you. Which is precisely why the ABDL community as a whole should not give them any reason to misunderstand or interpret our community as what it is not. I know one thing is for sure and that is when I have kids one day, whether they wear diapers or not, I will never approve of them conversing in a chat room that contains adults when they are under the age of 18. I think it leaves a lot of open doors and is just wrong. The ABDL world is an ADULT world and while there are people under the age of 18 that are into the diaper thing – that area of things should not be promoted online in such a public chatroom open to anyone wanting to easily lie about their age to gain access to children. This is wrong.
I have always been a big supporter of the adult baby and diaper lover community and always will be. The first step in presenting ourselves to the outside world is to clean up the mess within our own “ranks” that does not give outsiders excuses to accuse the ABDL community as a whole of wrongdoings. While, this is no easy task, I think it is a focal point that should not be taken lightly if the ABDL community ever wants to take another step in acceptance on any level within the outside world.
This is just my two cents on the situation and while sites like ADISC are well moderated communities and active – I think ADISC presents a huge problem and are a sore eye for the ABDL community as a whole when they are actively harboring people that are under the age of 18 in their forums. If they would gear their site to over the age of 18 then their site would be fantastic but that is not the case and unfortunately I think it is just one of the many examples of the barriers and problems for the adult baby and diaper lover community of every getting past that horrible stigma to the public.
NOTE: While I understand people’s views may differ I do not want “trash” comments and I will not allow garbage and immature comments such as this which I just received:
“So you want over 18 sites where people can post hairy crotch shots or their miniature d*cks, or pick up chicks for diaper sex, or provide detailed instructions on how to make yourself incontinent so you’ll be pissing yourself happily ever after without control. I’m sure that is what this world needs!” (he also forgot to leave a fake email so some nice easy Google searches and I have a photo of him from a profile)
I thought about posting his photo just to prove a point but I won’t stoop to that level…Please refrain from immature comments AS WELL AS comments that you simply base off of here-say rather than fact..
Another problem that gives the ABDL community a bad name is when someone goes to a non-ABDL website like Depends and posts either a made-up story or something like “I need diapers”.They are usually very obvious (because most of them that do can’t spell).
It is very annoying to the good people over there who are incontinent and for the most part want no part of the ABDL community.
Hinck: I definitely agree with you there. People should learn some sort of respect and common courtesy on some level.
Definitely theres a stigma. Mostly because you can’t regulate everything that is being posted online. Typically if one recognizes that theres an underage person engaging in actives such as posting which some people are going to have to deal with since theres alot of young people on the net then what can be deemed for the website itself? Not for the adults of the ABDL community I suppose but for the ‘teens’. It’s a younger version of the ABDL world that the community has somehow made up.
whoever: Yes you can’t regulate everything but I don’t think sites should actively “support” conversations between underage people and adults in conjunction with the ABDL world because it is just a hot-bed for problems. Yes, its not fully preventable but mewp_es can be taken to help prevent it and keep underage people safe but certainly there should not exist sites that actively harbor a merge of under 18 and adults when it comes to ABDL type things.
Hi again. In this day and age of the internet and all you could say there is a lot of borderline issues when it comes to ones age for content. Looking to make friends, meeting in person, viewing questionable content from ones own point of view. In the real world for age, is it physical age vs mental age vs ones resposnablity in real world and the internet world. What could a difference be from age 16 to 19 speaking of teens?! 18 to gamble and drink 21 to smoke in the legal of the law. Then in the 20 something and on up line of age for responsblity of ones own internet action vs real world action in this day and age. How many people are honest vs non-honest in the world of internet and so on. For example, what would ones own comfort zone be for buying and selling on ebay for example? Just a few items there for borderline issues for talking about. Oh by the way Adrian, this is one dam good blog you got here and keep up the good work and stay in your comfort zone of what you post when you post and reply.
black-dragon: You raise some good points! But, there is a difference between “interpreting” and the law. Certain things yes are “borderline” but there are some things that shouldn’t be messed with or are borderline when it comes to breaking the law and that is especially important when it comes to kids.
I think there are splits within the ABDL community. There are two terms in that term and I associate myself more with the latter. Why ABDL is linked to children, insecurity and sometimes lunacity is because of how outsiders lump all those “dipaer wearers” into the baby side. DL means liking only the diaper–for medical/sexual/no big reason. DLs (in my view) suffer with the baby stigma from the AB camp and cannot easily be pushed away from them.
Amanda: Thanks for the comment…I will agree with you. There is a separation within the community but to outsiders, they lump everyone together into ABDL and not AB or DL unfortunately.
When I was nearly 16, I found out about this whole diaper thing through reading a certain erotic story on the internet which somehow mentioned diapers as a fetish (among god knows how many other, even stranger things). This was not too long ago, but the law considers myself to be a complete adult now.
First sites I found were diaper-b***.*** and d**ker.com. If you have been around during those times, you’ll remember that there were some other, “even worse” sites around, and looking back it was probably pretty dangerous to be a confused teenager with internet access and likening for diapers.
What really helped me, though, were sites like teenbabynet.org (which was really active back then) and tbdl.org. They had the right people as mods, they always promoted safe ways of dealing with this kind of fetish on the web and in real life. There’s countless things I might have tried which would have risked my physical and psychical health, I mean, using laxatives/catheters, stealing diapers, telling other people, shooting photos of yourself, those kinds of things were actually being promoted or left unmoderated instead of being throughoutly discussed on d-b.*** and in stories on d**ker.com. It was through the ‘sane’ boards that I learned how to stay safe on the web, that laxatives are probably a bad idea, and that it’s actually not a normal thing to share photos but that it’s more likely that some older guy is posting abusive photos and pretending to be the kid on such a board to lure other kids to him.
Now, maybe you are right that sites like tbn.org and tbdl.org (now adisc) will look like a breeding ground for those kind of things to a casual observer. But if you really think that we would be better off without those sites, please think about this again. Why can’t some people who still remember what it was like to be young and confused create a website where they try to prevent bad things from happening while still supporting people of all ages in dealing with this dangerous(?) hobby.
I know first hand that they have helped me, and I’m very certain that things wouldn’t have gone as smooth for me if I hadn’t signed up and comitted my time to the right ones.
Other arguments I haven’t touched on because this posting is getting too long:
– If no ‘safe’ sites are around, teenagers will still register on 18+ or other more shady sites
– The moderators are people well respected in the whole *B/DL community, some of them being just over 18 themselves
– Most moderators gave up their anonymity and are known to so many people that it’s nearly impossible to be a fake (and if they do something bad, you know where they live)
– By attracting people with good intentions through the clean outward appearance of the site, you might actually get a clean site if you wait long enough and if those good intentioned people are vocal
^ Thank you for the comment and being respectful about it. While I agree to some extents with what you said…I don’t agree with some it as well. While you may have had a good/positive experience that does not make up for the fact that even if just a few people did not have a “good” experience and got in serious trouble that all those positive experiences outdoes that.
All I am saying is the sites should be separate basically, not intertwining adults and under 18 kids. I too know what it was like at that age but it does not make it right nor does it make it safe.
Some people like yourself may be a little more intuitive and capable of sniffing out wrong or bad things but I assure you others are not. I don’t care how well moderated things are – as long as you are harboring an environment that puts adults side by side kids when it comes to ABDL type topics – its not a good thing in multiple aspects.
I agree with you, Adrian. It’s not very safe for kids and adults to interact anonymously, no matter how innocent. Kids need to know safe internet practices.
But that’s not what I want to talk about. I think too many sites fall into the whole “If it’s 18+, it’s ok to have more sexual things.” Seriously, there needs to be more sites that are not just sexual, after all, we all know life does not become one big porno after you turn 18. There is still a sense of decency we have to uphold if we ever want to be accepted as any more than a “wierd group of perverts.” What’s stopping us from being a “cute, safe, hobby”? The fact that the ratio of ABDL smut to wholesome ABDL material (like this site) is just way too high.
Being an ABDL is not inherently sexual, so why is that the only message we send on the internet?
I agree with you Adrian that kids and adults in the ABDL community should be kept separate. It just leads to trouble. Although we are a community of people who are all little kids at heart, this day in age there are definate lines you cannot cross. It does also open a lot of doors. For instance, I have looked at ABDL websites for years now, but I have never made myself known on them. Reason being, the one or two times I did join a page, I was very quickly ‘friended’ by creepy people who wanted to dress me up and change my diaper. I know I’m not alone in this. It was just weird. The fact is there are creeps in the community who let their fetish take over and make them act inappropriately.
I also agree with Bryan, that the ration of diaper porn : sites like this is way lopsided. Ya, everyone has a sexual side, but we all can agree thats not what ABDL is all about. Its comfort, love, and happiness. Maybe if more sites like this go up then the community of people who feel the true ABDL sperit will gravitate to them and leave the horny people to the other sites. IDK, its very touchy with this subject cuz it is inherently a bit sexual, and the internet is one crazy place, but thats just what I think. Anyway, much love to you Adrien, I dont even know you but this blog you have is def in my opinion the best representation of what I feel ABDL is all about.
I can definitely understand why that it’s important to separate the minors and the adults. Legal and ethical reasons abound…
There is a problem though, in that as far as I know of, most people get involved in this community when they are teenagers. I don’t think that anyone is totally sure on what the exact causes of the “emergence” of infantilism or diaper fetishism, but I’m willing to bet that it’s linked pretty strongly to puberty.
So you have a bunch of new (I guess the right word would be) “recruits” in the community. So there have to be, and have been in the past, sites which help them understand, not only of the physical safety precautions and “best products”, but also of the emotional side of their nature.
The problem with what you’re talking about (which as far as I can tell is just separate websites or communities to prevent legal and ethical problems), is that if no communities are provided to the new TB/DLs, they’ll join adult sites and learn about this. Hell, even if they do join some TB/DL sites, there’s nothing stopping them from joining adult sites on top of it. I’m not saying it’s right, but I am saying out of personal experience, seeing as how I just turned 19.
The problem honestly is that on “pure” TB/DL sites, there are often a good number of creepers who totally try and take advantage of the kids. And this makes both those sites and the *B/DL community as a whole look bad.
Its really a simple problem of permeability: like the legal adult age is a porous membrane, where adults go to teen sites to be creepy and teens go to adult sites despite lacking the legal age.
I don’t really know what to do about that problem, but its something that must be taken into account when you examine the ethics of the situation.
What i a thinking about this post and most of you are correctly answering at it. What i think is that many ppl tought of ABDL as a desease to and not only as a danger for the minors. I do like to see girls at the abdl side (aww cute ^^) but it doesnt excites me as a sexual thing, however, DL is my thing and as i said in abdl, it isn’t just sexual, the major part of beeing a DL (for me) it’s confort of using a diaper and not just using it, it’s like, to make a life of it. I can’t think my life without diapers. Just the word makes me feel happy.
I’m proud of it, im 19 yold, and doing it since 17 i think ^^…
I was wondering, something that worries me a bit. Did the fact of using a diaper can lead to incontinency?
p.s.- I’m portuguese so if there is somthing in my english, please correct me or answer me :D…
Wow you sure stirred the kettle with this one! The only real way to keep kids safe is for their parents to know what they are looking at on the internet. There can’t be a “safe” site on the internet. Never-the-less there are good people and good topics hidden out there on the internet that have helped me through the years come to terms with my condition.
I don’t like associating myself as a DL because of all of the association to a fetish and sexual acts. I personally find my attraction to diapers to be more emotional than anything, something that is widely understood in the community but is hardly understood in the outside world because of the association diapers have with babies.
It’s interesting to see your view since diapers are so much more than just a hobby or object due to your incontinence. Though agreeably I would like to see a site with no weirdo’s pics.
It’s not that simple. Even if there is a community composed solely of below 18-year-olds, guess what? We all age.
Should you be forced to leave a community that you’ve been around for years? Leave the people that have bonded with you, best understood you and where you’re coming from, the issues you’re dealing with, and so on?
That doesn’t seem like it would make the communities any “safer.” The older people can offer advice, wisdom, and reason – things that could stop the teens from repeating the stupid mistakes we’ve all made.
You seem to think it’s cut and dry and super simple, no over 18 mixed with under 18 communities, but what do you think that would honestly accomplish? The people that want to take advantage of younger people would still find ways to do so. There’s no shortage of young people everywhere, and let’s not forget, you can represent yourself as anything you want on the Internet. An over 18 user can say they’re under 18. Who can question them?
Personally, I don’t see a compelling argument against the mixed communities. All I see is, “Maybe it’ll go away if we don’t allow honest people to do it.”
I like to think of it like this..
Many adult babies tend to forget the “adult” in adult babies.
I can’t agree more with you. Thanks for your comment. The whole topic isn’t as simple as it is described in the blog post. In my opinion, a community which is responsibly led and moderated is good for the whole community and all its members, no matter if they are above or below 18.
Like the mentiones Adisk: I think it is a great community, because they have support, help and advice for youngsters and educate them so they are not get into trouble.
Adrian mentioned that there have been people harmed, because they have been on Adisk. I wonder if she personally knows of any case or of this is just an assumption.
Bill: Its not an assumption…its wrong to mix underage people and adults in this situation…period. Sure, there are positives that happen but 1000 positives does not overshadow even 1 bad thing that can come from such a situation…and to answer your question…Yes, I have seen some disturbing conversations on ADISC.
People can try to justify how its OK what ADISC or sites like it do, but in the end, its wrong and puts underage people in vulnerable situations.
Once again – I will not post accusatory or rude comments…I will not approve them. I accept not everyone shares my view but if you cannot be mature enough to express that in a non-attacking way then your comment is not going to approved. Period.
Haha, just want to throw in there, you forgot *Senators* at the top of the page. http://www.alternet.org/blogs/peek/56689/
I will say, however, being just barely 18, that it is very nice to have a supportive place to learn and talk about your fetish right as you are discovering it. If I didn’t discover these online forums when I was twelve, I don’t know how I would have developed without feeling verrry sexually incompetent.
You’re basically saying that trying to reach out to teens to help then with their *B/DLism is wrong?
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the 18+ limit, but we can’t just shut out all those underage. That’s not fair to them.
It seems like you’re portraying the idea that ABs/DLs are getting negative views in public because of their potential association with minors.
But instead of banning or blocking them, why not use that to help spread the word?
Otherwise you’re isolating the younger generation and they’ll be confused and not know what to do.
Your right about what you say about adisc in that anyone can join.. kids, teens, young adults, adults and pretty old people. Adisc’s main goal is to be a support community about anything relating to needing or wanting diapers. But adisc is much more then that, most of the discussions are outside the realms of being DL/TB/AB/IC.
Plus the staff that runs the site do a wonderful job of banning people who lie about age, sex, locations, etc. They also said they will try and track down a person age and they WILL ban a person if they lie about that. Also you can’t have alt account there unless approved by the site owner I think.
I’ll agree the place isn’t perfect but, it is the best place I found so far.. mainly because the main group of users are sane and can refrain from mention “diaper” or “pacifier” every 5 mins.. not that they have to.
i totally agree with the fact about harboring kids who are into this aspect of life and i hate the ideas of leting kids onto these sites because you DONT KNOW WHOS OUT THERE!!!!!!. sure there are the real deal people but amoungust them there are skum bags who want to abouts this and i abosultly hate this fact. this is the best diapers website ive been to and im damn well sticking with it cause it is above all things safe and the owner of the site is some one who is part of the diaper community love this site thanks for making it!! really
Hey anyone interested in joining a non diaper fetish forum join this one then dcconnection.forum-motion.com I am the admin and I just created it so it needs some more work and members! So join if you are interested!
Well, uhm–I’ve been a diaper lover since I was in middle school, and now that I’m twenty-five I’ve just now stopped hating myself about it and embraced who I am. If anyone here would like to check out my blog its at nickthenayl.blogspot.com
Some are kinda crude because it talks about a couple of times I was outed and whatnot, but not all of them. Like I said, I’m coming out of my shell about it and there things I wanted to get off of my chest. Anyway…sorry to bother you guys.
i have to say that your opinions are meant for good. but there arent any tb sites run by teens for only teens. when i first started seeking my interests on the internet. they had deeker, dpf, and other sites that were mostly for adults. when i discovered adisc.org… i wish they were around when i was a newbie in this internet community at the age of 13. im 27 now. there will always be bad apples, but adisc isnt one of them. a website where less pervs are. people under 18 will Always Lie about their age no maTter what.. but to have a website where underage people can go thT is highly moderated and offers tons of support without graphic content is great. considering other places that are available. so where are th teens supposed to fit in your rant? which website would you rather them to visit? it wont be none. all community websites hVe bad apples. sorry about horrible typing. im doing it from phone .
I totally agree with the author of this article. Teens do many things they regret later like sexting and other things. Also in many cases diapers are nothing more than an attractive feature and that guys look for in the same age partner, but sometimes it can be strongly sex orientated for adults to adults. It’s just not safe for teen ab or dl to necessarily be in the area with adults you give the majority of the adults are good people that just want to be in a community with people that have things in common and their similar age group. Although many of us look back and their teen years thinking boy when I was a teen I thought I was alone in ab or dl. Teens should have their own areas for teens. On any issue.