Do you long for meeting adult babies and diaper lovers and others with similar interest in the community? If you are like most people in the ABDL world then you strive for that connection to other similar and like minded people. You want to share your passion for diapers and interact with other adult babies and diaper lovers. This is only natural and completely normal. But, it is one of the hardest things for many people to do for various reasons. I personally have not met many adult babies or diaper lovers in real life because though I (and Peter) want to connect with other ABDL members we want the interaction to be more than just diapers. So, I wanted to craft a post about things I think limit and would help other ABDLs to meet one another in real life.
Websites for Meeting Adult Babies and Diaper Lovers
So, obviously the first place most people want to try and find other ABDLs is to use a website. There are several websites out there that are great for meeting others. Unfortunately, I don’t think any of them are perfect but are decent options to get started. I have listed several below:
FetLife: Fetlife is a great all around social network for meeting other adult babies and diaper lovers. They cater to all sorts of lifestyles and fetishes. It is free to join or you can join the premium version which enables you to have access to videos and certain other features to more easily find members. Overall, it has a great site with a lot of features and by far is the most functional.
Facebook: Facebook is great of course but it is difficult to find others by location I find and privacy can sometimes be an issue. Befriending a lot of people here can pose problems sometimes because your Facebook feed can get junked up with a bunch of useless stuff and there are quite a number of fake accounts.
DailyDiapers: Not a member site per se but a forum that is very well-known and they have a specific “location” section that allows you to post and find others in that location.
I have not found a perfect solution and unfortunately I think the only way to create a clean and perfect site for ABDLs to come and meet each other that is secure and private is to to charge a small fee probably to become a member. It will detract the spam people and make only those serious about meeting others pay a very small fee. I am sure some would not agree with me but if the site was organized and functional and clean and truly allowed others to search for other members and have a good profile then I think it would be easily worth it, to me at least.
Too Many Diaper Crotch Shots
I want to address the fact that many people have trouble finding others because they post endless amounts of diaper crotch shots that is somehow suppose to separate or make you any “different” from everyone else. I think to the majority of people when they see a “diaper shot” they just keep on going. To me it tells me that you have no interest in personality or anything else than just diapers. For many that is not true but that is what it is communicating. I am not saying take a picture of your face but please don’t just take a close up diaper crotch shot or butt-shot. At least add some space from you and the camera.
Adult babies and diaper lovers tend to be a unique bunch which is a good thing but I think it is important to address the zebra in the room. While diapers are great and obviously a big thing in the conversation, the conversation should focus on other things and interests not just diapers, adult babies and such.
If all you do is spend your time talking about diapers and the community then you never really know who you are meeting or anything about that person. Plus, in the end diapers can only be conversational so much. And, when you meet – what are you going to do…talk about diapers and adult babies all morning, afternoon and evening? No! You are going to do something that interests you and the other person and diapers will most likely be involved.
I think this is key. Find out about the person and don’t just ask for diaper pictures or videos and what not. Major turn off.
Don’t Focus Entirely on Diaper Photos and Videos
Diaper pictures and diaper videos are a main focus in the ABDL community and understandably so. But, I think this topic dominates many ABDL conversations and meetings. Everyone wants to “see your diaper pic” or “diaper video”. Personally, I think these things come with time if you let them but focusing on developing a relationship with a person, male or female, is what is going to develop trust and lasting and fun relationship in the end. So, don’t start the conversation off with “let me see your diaper picture”. It is rude, inappropriate and turn-off in my opinion!
Have Some Level of Trust for Other ABDLs
Obviously, you can’t see the person on the other end of the phone or internet screen but some level of trust is going to be needed. Obviously, safety is important but have a level of cautious trust in order to allow the relationship to develop. If you are sitting there skeptical and asking for proof the whole time than the relationship is going to start off rocky and be a major turn off to the other person. Don’t completely mistrust everyone. Usually the truth comes out in the end.
Meet Other ABDLs in a Public Place First
This goes for any true new relationship I think but more so in this day and age. Make sure to meet your fellow adult baby or diaper lover in a public place at first to make both people feel a little more comfortable and secure. If you meet in a private or remote location this makes some people feel edgy and insecure.
Plan Something with Your ABDL Buddy
Have a plan to do something with your ABDL friend – if you don’t then you are going to meet and just be basically staring at each other and it will make the interaction awkward possibly. At least have a few ideas or plans in mind. Obviously, you can always end up “chilling” back at someone’s place but I think it makes it more fun to go out to eat, walk around a mall, go shopping, go to a movie, etc. During this time conversation can range from diapers, adult babies, and diaper lovers to anything else that has nothing to do with that topic. This allows both people to find out more about each other and develop a level of comfort before just “stripping clothes off and laying around in diapers”. Which I know is “freeing” for many people but let the relationship develop and just let things flow. Don’t just be like…I am here, lets undress and just sit around in diapers…for me and I am sure others this is awkward especially if it is the first time meeting.
Bring Different Adult Diapers
Depending on what you all are doing or discussing I think it is both fun and beneficial to bring different types of adult diapers to a meeting. Some people have never tried anything beyond store brand diapers and if you are nice enough to share a premium diaper like Bambino Diapers, Tykables, Dry 24/7, Aww So Cute Diapers, Abena Adult Diapers, or Rearz then you may just blow that persons world away with how exciting it is to wear something that thick and good. Plus, for some this adds to the excitement and some times can break the ice. This is just a thought or tip for some people.
In the end, meeting other adult babies and diaper lovers should be no different than any other “meet and greet”. BE YOURSELF and don’t act fake. Just let the conversation flow and don’t force things. That is the biggest mistake. Everyone is so focused on diapers that they completely neglect any intellectual talk or personal interaction outside of diapers. Obviously, the mutual interest in diapers and the ABDL world is there and should definitely be engaged on some level but please don’t make it the entire focus.
Myself and Peter would love to meet other adult babies and diaper lovers around our area but again it is hard to find others around our area that don’t just want to talk about diapers or sexual things. We are looking for a legitimate friendship that is based off mutual interests both in diapers and non-diaper and ABDL related things.