I have been living with incontinence my entire life so incontinence is not really a second thought to me. But, this does not mean that incontinence is all peachy. The reality of incontinence is that it can be quite a heavy burden and inconvenience if you do not have patience and persistence. Incontinence can be sudden or a gradual onset and how you deal with either will define your experience with incontinence. In the next few paragraphs I will attempt to describe not only the reality of dealing with incontinence but also things that can make the transition to dealing with incontinence easier and smoother.
Incontinence from birth is easier to deal with because its all you know and you do not anything different than dealing with incontinence. You were/are most likely using some sort of protection for a long time so its not a big deal. But, if you did not grow up with incontinence then coming to terms with the reality of it can be difficult. As much as many people in the ABDL community would like to be incontinent so they can use diapers 24/7, they make not end up liking the reality of it. Many people can pretend to be incontinent and wear diapers 24/7, but in those “certain” situations they may not want to wear a diaper or they may not want to mess or wet in a certain situation they are in. Situations that make people nervous such as office environment, parties, get-togethers with friends, dates, etc. These situations a lot of times are avoided by people who “pretend” to wear diapers 24/7 because they can cause issues in multiple ways. But, with incontinence, there is no way out of it – you are wearing a diaper or some sort of protection and that is that. So, if you are scared to mess in a diaper possibly at work, then incontinence is probably going to be difficult for you to come to terms with.
I am naturally a person who does not care what others think to some degree but that does not mean I am not respectful or smart about it. Dealing with incontinence and wearing diapers in the workplace can be handled appropriately and not in some flamboyantly obvious way.
Incontinence does not wait until you are away from your friends or co-workers to cause to you mess or wet. Incontinence does not give you the luxury of controlling how fast or how much you urinate or mess. It just comes and whatever it is, it is. You deal with the ramifications of it being too much too quick as it happens. This is precisely the reason why I choose more quality adult diapers because in the end, you cannot predict whether you are going to go a lot or a little.
It may seem like a neat idea to be totally helpless and to wet or mess diapers uncontrollably to some but let me tell you, a lot of situations arise where it is not so “neat”. I will give you a perfect example that happened to me a few years ago. I went out to lunch with some new girlfriends I had met in class in college. We first went shopping and then hit up some deli style restaurant. None of these girls knew about my incontinence or diapers as I had not really come to that point of telling them. So, I had on at the time an Attends with Waistband diaper (this was before Bambino Diapers came along) and no booster. Well, I had for breakfeast some bran flakes with strawberries in it which ended up being the perfect storm for me. Needless to say, I ended up completely messing in my diaper at lunch and I hadn’t turned blushed or been emberrassed in a long time but I was super emberrassed. Obviously, they smelled it and by my reaction and what not could tell that something had happened. To make a long long long long story short, I had to spill the beans right there at the table about my incontinence, diapers, etc all while sitting in a messed diaper…you want to talk about humiliating. Not exactly the situation I envisioned telling them. One of them was actually totally weirded out obviously (eventually came to terms and didn’t care) but the other two girls really were quite sympathetic and felt bad they had even shown a reaction to the smell of the diaper. None of them disbanded me as a friend or anything, which I was so worried might happen. But, fortunately, I handled it the best I could and thought on my feet.
I have countless stories similar to this that just happen and you can’t help it. You learn to think on your feet quickly and react quickly that is for sure. But, the reality of incontinence is that you have to have patience with yourself as become accustomed to a change in lifestyle. Its not all peaches and cream with incontinence so be sure to keep that in mind next time you think about wanting to become incontinent. Obviously, some of you I am sure fantasize about that exact situation I was just in, but let me tell you, being THAT person is not a fantasy you want to live…it was quite humiliating at first..