Many people have been asking me about how my parents dealt with the fact that I had incontinence. So, I figured I would take some time to explain the transition/process that ensued from a young age when they realized that I was not able to be potty trained.
In the beginning, my parents like most parents, tried to potty train me starting with using pull ups and gradually weaning me to try to use one of those portable potty things. Needless to say it was always a hit or miss type thing because sometimes you would get lucky and it would be the right timing and sometimes it wouldn’t. I would sit on the potty for a long time but I never had to go sometimes, so I would put the pull up or diaper sometimes back on and sure enough 15 minutes later I had either wet or messed. While my parents knew from birth that my bladder and certain areas were not developing properly according to multiple doctors and they said I may end up being incontinent, my parents of course thought they could “beat it” somehow. They tried using alarms that would buzz which entailed these pad like things that were stuffed inside your diaper that when moisture hit it, it would buzz (super annoying). Nothing worked. They probably tried for a good 2 years off and on different methods but once they felt like they were making progress I would continually lose control and I still required diapers and pull ups no matter where I went.
My parents finally took me to a urologist that specialized in working with children. He ran all the obvious tests, scans, etc and basically confirmed what my parents knew. Due to physical abnormalities/defects in development which have caused certain nerves to not be able to sense the need to urinate or defecate as well as an underdeveloped bladder and a few other things, he concluded, all this in combination is what is likely causing my urinary and bowel incontinence. He said that there were certain surgeries that could be performed but they were not guaranteed and the success rate for physical abnormalities is quite low and the risk to damaging reproductive organs and such was moderate. My parents decided to not take the risk and this is where it truly all began.
That day my parents took me home after of course taking me to McDonald’s because they felt bad after all the tests and stuff they had put me through. I got my Happy Meal (sorry, I remember this day vividly). Anyways, when we got home they explained it to me that basically your going to have to wear a diaper or pull up for a while longer…they didn’t tell me forever at this time because I think they might of thought it would scare me. At the time I did not really care…I was 5 years old almost 6. Pull ups were what I was mainly using at the time. Time went on and I eventually switched to Goodnights but it became clear as I got older (eh, around age 11 or so) that absorbency was becoming an issue.
My parents eventually told me the truth around this time that I was probably going to be wearing diapers or some sort of protection for the rest of my life. That is also when they concluded that I needed better absorbency because I had experienced a greater frequency of leaking. I don’t know what sort of youth adult diapers they bought me at the time but I just remember they were a lot more comfortable then what they make now a days. My parents typically changed my diapers probably 90% of the time until I was around 15ish when it became more infrequent and I would say changed me probably about half of the time. Usually when I only wet my diaper it was mainly up to me to change it but when I messed they would usually help me out.
My parents have always told me that this was the way God made you and you should not be ashamed of it. That is probably the reason they have always been so understanding and supportive through it instead of fighting it tooth and nail my whole life. They accepted it and made the best of it, as have I. So, hopefully that explained a general overview of the transition process with my parents and how they handled my incontinence..