The ABDL community is a unique community in a lot of ways.  Both good and bad.  Adult babies and diaper lovers can bask in the fact that no other fetish/lifestyle is similar to it in mindset or object.  There is a large complexity to the ABDL mindset that goes beyond any sort of sexual manner that most other lifestyles entrench themselves in.  Unfortunately, this complexity not only attracts “bad” people but also it breeds, in a sense, everything from insecurity to obsession in many people.

This leads me into my main point of this post.  Life is too short to waste your time bathing in hate and negativity or wasting the time of your life conjuring up internet supporters for a flame campaign on someone or something.  If a random person were to browse the forums of ABDL sites they would come across a lot of good and helpful information which is awesome; but they would also be able to easily pick out those that seem to be on a mission to be negative about just about everything.  This is an unfortunate formation within the ABDL community.  Small elitist niche groups form and find themselves above others and feel because they believe something or say “it is” then that is how it should be.

I have never once asked anyone nor forced anyone to believe what I believe.  I have never forced anyone to believe that I am a girl.  If you want to believe that I am a girl typing behind this computer than awesome.  If you think I am a guy with some elaborate scheme to waste my life tricking the ABDL community somehow for some benefit – then fine, believe it.  I can only write and share within my limits and what I am comfortable with.  If you find it hard to believe certain things I say or find it “impossible” then I am OK with that.  Life is just too short for me to please everyone.  People are always going to be stuck in their ways and it is just a mindset you have to accept about people.

There are so many wonderful people within the ABDL community that are kind-hearted and supportive.  But, then there are always the select few that recruit a following to support their beliefs.  Which, if you want to waste your time convincing “internet strangers” to believe you or follow you then more power to you.

I am not going to name any names or call anyone out but I will say there are those, sadly they are girls and couples, that form a little friendship group to basically “rule” the ABDL community.  And, because they expose their faces all over the ABDL community and have met “tons” of ABDLs then what they say should go and be taken as fact AND if not then because they have nothing better to do with their time, they will make it goal to bring that person down (nice isn’t it?).  But, hey if your in their group its utopia…..if you are in their group and earn your spot!

I tried maturely contacting one of the people that “flamed” me or whatever you call it since they live legitimately close by.  I tried to clear a few things up and of course she/he sounded up to meeting at some point when schedules allow.  Which I am fine with…but THEN, she/he goes and posts on their small group forum how proud they are they called me out on what their views are and I am going to quote her:

If we meet and she can prove she is who she claims to be… she will gain a loyal supporter. If she fails, I’ll bury her.

I did not agree to this meeting to prove anything – I just wanted to make some friends for us.  Ever since moving from Florida we have been busy and haven’t met too many people besides a few people from Peter’s graduate classes at night at NC State.  So, of course it would be neat to meet someone that hopefully is sane and shares the same diaper interest.  But, it looks like all this meeting would be is to “prove” ourselves…and here is the great part – if we don’t – then she/he will “bury me“.  Doesn’t that make any of you want to jump in a car and meet this awesome person?  Though I am still considering it, I was hoping for a little more mature mindset from someone of that age and situation.

My only point here is that there are A LOT of great people within the ABDL community – doctors, lawyers, military, service people, grass-cutters, construction workers, and thousands of great occupations – but, I don’t know why people concern themselves with the inconsequential when life is just so short.  I could worry all day whether some girl across the United States from me is going to believe me or is going to talk trash about me or others OR…get this…I could go to work and talk with my awesome co-workers and earn money for raising a family one day and having fun AND enjoying a healthy social life outside of the internet with real people AND maybe going to see The Time Traveler’s Wife if I can stay awake that late to go see it…all while being positive 🙂  I think I will take the latter like I typically do!.

By |2017-07-17T21:42:30+00:00August 21st, 2009|Uncategorized|27 Comments


  1. jr August 21, 2009 at 12:34 pm - Reply

    Sounds good life is to short to worry about people you may never see or meet. If they are harrassing you, cant you just change your email and have peter to block there access to this site. I dont know alot about computers but someone with a whole bunch more knowledge than myself could probably do it. JUST A THOUGHT

  2. Keith August 21, 2009 at 12:44 pm - Reply

    You’re absolutely right about the elitists and their creating a ‘pecking order’ on the sites. I have been on chat sites and no one would answer me or acknowledge my existence. But, the same names that pop up daily were druled over and, if you could put them in a large room, would probably look like they were holding court. I suppose insecure people have to assert themselves in order to feel accomplished.

  3. Abortion Wannabe August 21, 2009 at 1:09 pm - Reply

    AMEN! You hit the nail right on the head. Being a member of this community can be one of the best things in life, but it can also be depressing as hell, not to mention annoying. For the record, I do not believe you are a girl. I believe you are a woman, who sees things as they are, and who looks at and deals with them maturely and with thought, unlike so many others we shall neither mention nor dwell on. Please keep up the good work.

  4. andrew August 21, 2009 at 1:54 pm - Reply

    You’re fine by me, Adrian. The first couple of years out from college and in the real world of life and now, internet life you will encounter stuff like this. The first few times are tough b/c you have to sorta take it on the chin and keep going. As you get older it becomes easier to dismiss peoples accusations and opinions and your skin gets a little thicker. Im only 29, so I still do things that catch heat sometimes, but my intent is usually benign so I don’t worry about one person’s opinion if it happens to be negative.
    Best of luck to you. I will keep reading as long as you keep posting!

  5. Jeffrey August 21, 2009 at 3:18 pm - Reply

    i have really enjoyed reading your blog, i don’t think i have ever commented, but i love your maturity level and the way you have handled yourself through these types of situations. I will keep on reading, just keep on posting 🙂

    Thank you.

  6. WillInTn August 21, 2009 at 8:01 pm - Reply

    Wow. I have no idea what has triggered the postings over the last few days, but I am truly sorry about whatever is going on.

    Yes, there are elitists in any community… but still.. why would anyone “call you out” like that? Why would someone “bury you”? What is the origin of that much anger and hatred against someone else who (as far as I can tell) has done nothing to them?

    Now.. if you claimed to be female and your pictures showed a body type that was *obviously* male (bulges in certain places and hairy legs) then sure. I could see how someone would say you’re lying. I have been reading this blog for a while and have not found a place where I’ve felt you lied to us (the readers) or where anything would give me any indication of you secretly being male or whatever the heck the person/people are complaining about.

    I can understand discretion. It is similar to other behaviours that fall outside of the norm. Take homosexuality. Some are out of the closet. Some are not. Some share their feelings with friends or people online, but don’t give out pictures of themselves or limit the visibility of their face. How is this any different? When did it become a crime to feel or be a certain way is not blatantly advertise yourself with full body and facial pictures? I have never heard any of my gay friends say that someone online said they weren’t really gay because they didn’t put up a face picture.

    At the end of the day, I believe Adrian is who she says she is. Why? Because I trust people first and if they don’t betray my trust, I trust them more. I have not had a single incident where I questioned that trust up until now (a year and a half or so). I guess I just have better things to do than to assume that everyone is a liar.

  7. ziggy August 21, 2009 at 8:42 pm - Reply

    “If we meet and she can prove she is who she claims to be… she will gain a loyal supporter. If she fails, I’ll bury her.”

    Damn that person sounds paranoid!

    No one ever needs to prove themselves to others just because they ask for it. They sound prove themselves by improving their lives and the others around them. People are extremely closed minded.

    To many people won’t trust another unless they see them in person and I probably bet if this person becomes nasty the phrase “In war, truth is the first casualty” by Aeschylus Greek tragic dramatist (525 BC – 456 BC) comes to mind.

    Take care and don’t take any $h1t

  8. Ryan August 21, 2009 at 10:10 pm - Reply

    The idea of having someone in the community faking around is obviously offensive, and anyone would be paranoid about it, since it’s SO easy to convince. I’d feel bad for followers/supporters of you that are getting tricked because they are my fellow comrades in the community of course. No one likes a faker, user, manipulator, liar, etc. If they bash you about it, so be it. It shouldn’t get under your skin. These things happen over unreal communications commonly. The “noobs” of the internet are meant to be ignored, don’t let them have their ways

  9. Manuel August 22, 2009 at 2:46 am - Reply

    OK, i have an idea of what group that person is that you are going to meet
    I have seen what they behave like on forums and the quote you put up there is of course absolutly not ok. But let me be the devil’s advocate for a minute, if you allow.
    We all know that the ratio of women to men is low. VERY low. And the behaviour of some ABDL men must make the few women here feel like prey. So in a way i can understand how this tight group of ABDL girls forms a hard defense mechanism. Their words are rude, but they just want to go very safe. Their behaviour now was in a way just formed as a reaction of the behaviour of hundreds of bad behaving ABDL men who just wanted to find ABDL sex chat partners.
    I would say you do meet them. Show them that you are just who you claim to be, a friendly girl, wanting some friends.

  10. Miko August 22, 2009 at 3:13 am - Reply

    I say do not meet her! She is a waste of your time and if her true intent is just to “prove” that you are a girl then your meeting is worthless and a waste of time.
    Yes, it is true. This ABDL community has very diverse personalities, mindsets, cultural differences, etc. But one main thing that I have seen and disliked is that there is too much perverts out there that want to get off to a picture of someone in a diaper. No offense!
    I am happy to see that by the comments more than half of your readers on here are mature. Of course you get those creeps but who doesn’t? I say I am glad that this doesn’t affect you and that you are moving forward without quitting on us and just closing down your blog =/ (Don’t do that)

    Maybe one day you can meet a few of us who are truly sane and have normal lives outside the ABDL area.
    Sadly I am from the west coast so my chance of seeing you and peter are zero to none. Lol.

    But that doesn’t matter.
    Have a great day! 🙂

  11. Beth August 22, 2009 at 2:47 pm - Reply

    I honestly don’t know if you are a fake or not. But didn’t you say you don’t meet people because you’re private and you have family and stuff? Now you say you would like to meet people but you are just too busy? Which is it?

    I understand that lot of diaper women are private and do not post photos of themselves online because of so many perverts. I think it’s ridiculous to think someone is a fake just because they don’t want to show their faces in their photos or show themselves on cam, etc. There was someone at ADISC in my area who got outed because she was being stopped by strangers because they recognized her from her diaper photos. So she finally removed them all with her face in them. That tells me should I post my own photos in the AB/DL community? Not something I want to do in large ab/dl communities. I also like to be left alone and have my own privacy. I also do not like to snap diaper photos of myself to please men and prance in the webcam for them and thank goodness our cam doesn’t work anymore. I was starting to think about to lie about not having one. But luckily I don’t run into so many diaper pervs anymore like i used to. Now it’s only occasionally.

    But I think posting your false age or posting false information about yourself is lying. If you don’t want people to know your career or location or other stuff, don’t say them at all but don’t make stuff up. You said you have exaggerated some stuff about you to protect yourself. I think this is what is causing all this mess. I had an online friend who lied to me a few times and I lost trust in him. Why did he do this? Because he didn’t trust anyone online. Okay so if he doesn’t trust anyone online, don’t talk to anyone online and don’t tell his birth date or his age and some other stuff if he doesn’t want to be honest about it. We stopped talking because I lose trust in him and I do not like being lied to.

  12. bobbyc August 22, 2009 at 3:47 pm - Reply

    Adrian/Stacey, you are starting to sound like a high school girl getting wrapped up in in all sorts of teenage drama. Why not just put on your adult hat and ignore those individuals that you keep ranting about? Try focusing your energy on something more positive for a change. I have no idea why you would give those people so much attention – is it really worth it? Why not focus on all these people who post positive comments to your site?

  13. AB ab August 23, 2009 at 10:51 am - Reply

    Some people just need to lighten up. I don’t care whether the people in the ABDL on-line community are completely honest or not — it’s about hearing others talk about things that interest me.

    Just put them out of your mind — you have nothing to prove to any of these people. One of the things that I’ve gotten from this blog is to be yourself first and foremost. Just be you and let people with a mission to “bury you” bury themselves in their own negativity.

  14. northcarolinadl August 23, 2009 at 12:05 pm - Reply

    if the fact that you want to see time traveling wife isnt proof enough that your female then those people are idiots! forget em there a a bunch of us who come read your blog and who are here for you who if asked would prob drop what ever there doing to hang with someone so cool. so just forget the idiot/idiots

    your completely right about the set few who say they are in charge i like keith have been in many chat rooms where i was just ignored and the only time i was spoken to was when a friend i know from yahoo would come in and ask if i was there. to me it seems completely ridiculous i mean abdl is a about looking for love and nurturing right? at least it is for me and if thats what were looking for then why act like were different?thats actually the reason i left mot the sites i was on because i wasnt a friend of part of the group so i was just ignored… now i go to two blogs and thats it… its kinda sad when this is suppose to be a comunity.

  15. diaperlady August 23, 2009 at 12:29 pm - Reply

    Keep on doing what you are doing for the diaper community. Because of the very strange people that I have encountered over the years, I have had to post and repost a profile. I just know that I love reading your posts and hearing about you and Peter and that you are doing a good thing.
    Keep being true to yourself. You have inspired me in more ways than one. Thanks.

  16. Kyle August 23, 2009 at 9:20 pm - Reply


    Don’t get so discouraged. I don’t know why you’re getting so upset about someone talking trash about you on the internet. That’s like when people talk trash on x-box live, it doesn’t do/mean anything. They could talk smack about how they killed you 40 times in a match of call of duty but at the end of the day you’re still alive, they only killed what was a visual representation of mathematical equations. Just ignore their comments about you, what is it really going to matter if they don’t believe who you are. From your reactions to these people I can tell it does bother you at least little (or you wouldn’t have said anything on your blog), but it shouldn’t, they sound like nothing more than internet bullies who thrive off of making other feel bad. who would want to befriend something like that? There are always going to be negative people in any community, so why should the abdl community be any different, we’re just normal people too. Let me ask you something Adrian, is there someone at work you don’t like for whatever reason, and if so, how do you deal with them? You don’t let them know that they’re getting to you, don’t let them know they’re pushing your buttons. I know I’m kind of ranting a little right now, and I apologize but I’m going to tell you a story about a guy I work with. This guy is probably the biggest douche, and whenever you ask him to do something or have a question about something he would easily know he gets an attitude and make you feel like an idiot. So when he come to me ask me to do something what do I do? I look at him with a look I developed just for him that make him feel like an idiot. I call it “The Blank Stare” you get a Kind of thousand yard stare mixed in with a thoughtless look similar to the stereotypical “dumb high school cheerleader expression”. It’s actually quite a comical look and I’ve passed on to my roommates who also work with me and we see who can do the stare the longest without laughing, but I digress. God I am ranting, sorry. But either don’t let them know they bother you, give’em a taste of their own medicine, or just ignore them completely.

  17. Frink August 24, 2009 at 1:29 am - Reply

    I hate to do this, but Adrian, I can prove beyond doubt that you ain’t no girl. Ladies and gentlemen, Adrian is in fact TWO girls. That’s right, The person you all know as Adrian Surley is in fact a pair of midgets. Their names are Adrian and Surley. Surley gets awful rude when she’s drunk so she’s usually stuck being the legs. Just an fyi for y’all.

  18. Missy August 24, 2009 at 3:29 am - Reply

    Oh goddess… People are silly… Y_Y

    I mean I understand the guarded abdl cisgirl communities, but they can be ridiculous like you say. Obviously you never know for certain whether someone is telling the truth, but at times it doesn’t even matter. I mean you’re consistent and you don’t seek out girls or guys like a predator, so even if you are lying it doesn’t matter. I don’t even care if one of my online friends are fictitious if I don’t ever meet up with them. As long as they’re consistently that person and they aren’t being two-faced. The problem comes with false advice or other types of things that affect people for real. I think they’re just jealous that people read your blog and not theirs. Being popular attract critics and people who talk crap about you. I mean, you can’t trust the internet so distrust isn’t unreasonable, but they do bully everyone who claims to be female.

    I guess you shouldn’t worry about it, it’s hard to trust people on the internet, and because the community has so many perverts and liars who say and do pathetic things, people are going to want to be above that crap.

  19. Dave August 24, 2009 at 6:33 am - Reply

    No surprises who you’re referring to Adrian – those girls act like the sun shines out of their arse. Just because they’re a few rare girls willing to expose themselves to the significantly male ABDL community, they act like it’s ok to treat everybody else like dirt.

    To the people Adrian is referring to in this post (and I’m sure you’re reading) – get a life! Just because a few horny blokes try and rub one out over you does not make you special. The sooner you realise this the better. Get over yourselves!

    Adrian, keep up the good job. It’s nice to be able to read a blog where the author has some perspective about what’s important in their life.

  20. Jks16 August 24, 2009 at 9:49 pm - Reply

    After reading this post I feel happy that I am NOT involved in the ABDL community… your blog is the ONLY ABDL thing I read. I understand the need for friends, but if people are going to attack you, they they wont ever be good friends. Maybe they are envious of your popularity….

    You seem to have a wonderful relationship with Peter and your family, and that is what truly maters here.

  21. steve August 25, 2009 at 7:18 pm - Reply

    Be what you what to be Adrian. You have figured it out…you do not have anything to prove or not prove. I don’t understand why you keep feeding the pigeons? Let them go away. Keep enjoying *your* blog. It is *yours* to do with as *you* please. Love, Joy and Peace to *YOU*! Steve

  22. Charlie August 29, 2009 at 10:37 pm - Reply

    Entirely true, I stopped posting on because of it….it just got too depressing…But blogs like yours are much more interesting, and there are other forums out there…

    Also, let Peter know there are some of us that would like to read more of his posts! lol


  23. Penny September 2, 2009 at 11:36 am - Reply

    Ugh. “Bury you?” Sounds like (s)he’s a bit of a megalomaniac. You have way too many supporters for one stupid person to have that much of an effect anyway.

  24. Jason September 4, 2009 at 1:09 am - Reply

    I love your website. I would never talk trash about you or anyone who wears diapers. I’m 36 yrs old and I wear diapers, by choice and by need. Don’t let people make you feel defensive. Wearing diapers can be a good thing. One doesn’t have to be a baby or even an Adult Baby to like wearing diapers.

  25. Jemma September 4, 2009 at 5:20 pm - Reply

    “Now.. if you claimed to be female and your pictures showed a body type that was *obviously* male (bulges in certain places and hairy legs) then sure. I could see how someone would say you’re lying.”

    Only men have hairy legs, women aren’t allowed to? Say what? This discussion is sexist and transphobic.

    Why don’t you show the transgendered AB/DL community a little respect? Don’t you think we already get enough hate as it is?

  26. Cameron October 26, 2009 at 12:29 am - Reply

    dont worry about it. You’re a dynamic young lady with a smokin bod lol. ;P

  27. babyevan August 27, 2010 at 5:53 am - Reply

    great post adrian. you have a great outlook.
    the happiest people in the world just the bad roll off them.
    i thank you kindly for being who you are.

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