When I write about diapers, it’s often in the context of wearing them in public.

That’s partly because I’m a fashion writer by trade (well, one of my trades; you can get paid to write about anything, these days). Working unusual accents or specific needs into different wardrobes comes naturally to me.

But there’s also a bit of a normalizing agenda for me there — I like to encourage the idea of diaper-wearing as an uncontroversial choice. It doesn’t always have to be baby clothes and oversized pacifiers and fetish-mommies in high heels, and on the flip side it doesn’t always have to be a desperate struggle to hide every trace of crinkle or bulge, either.

So, wearing a diaper in public: is it all right to let it show? And if so, how much is too much?

No More Shame: Be Comfortable with Your Bulge

To answer the first and easier of those questions, yes, it is all right to be visibly diapered in public.

That is to say, you should not feel ashamed if you think someone has noticed your diaper, whether it’s because of a bulge or a plastic waistband poking out or a noisy crinkle when you walk.

There are certainly reasons to be discreet, and ways to dress to minimize the evidence if that’s what you want to do, but at the end of the day, no one who wears diapers regularly is going to “get away with it” 100% of the time.

So, my first piece of advice is always this: be comfortable with your bulge. Accept that sometimes people are going to notice and think “huh, that person is wearing a diaper,” and don’t spend too much time worrying about it. Almost everyone will assume you have your reasons and let you move on with your life. After all, how many times have you stopped and publicly commented on someone else’s undergarments?

How Much is Too Much?

It’s actually not that hard to figure out when you’ve crossed the line from wearing a diaper to flaunting one.

Practical functions aside, diapers are underwear. If what you’re wearing would be showing off a pair of briefs, boxers, or panties to an inappropriate degree, odds are they’re showing your diapers more than is courteous to others, too.

Diapers complicate things a little by being higher-waisted than most undergarments, so you may find yourself showing the waistband more than you would with non-absorbent underwear. But in general, if you’re not flashing the padding between your thighs or the entire top of the diaper, you should be fine.

If the purpose of your outfit is to be comfortable, and in achieving that you occasionally show people your diaper, don’t sweat it.

If the purpose of your outfit is to show people that you’re wearing a diaper and you’re proud of it, reel it in a little. There’s nothing wrong with choosing to wear a diaper, but you don’t have to make a point of it.

Here are some basic examples of public diaper wearing that I would consider to be, in order, appropriate, questionable, and then right out:

Appropriate

  • Trousers with a small, visible bulge from the padding.
  • The top of a high-waisted diaper showing above a skirt or pair of pants, with a shirt or jacket that hides it most of the time
  • A skirt that exposes the crotch of a diaper if the wearer sits with his/her knees apart, or to people looking up from below

Questionable

  • Thin or partly see-through trousers as the only layer over a thick diaper bulge, such as mesh gym shorts or knit leggings
  • The top of a high-waisted diaper showing above a skirt or pants, with a bare midriff
  • A skirt just long enough to cover the crotch of the diaper, but that may flash it when the wearer walks or bends over

Right Out

  • A deliberately oversized bulge requiring trousers to be unbuttoned and forcing the wearer to waddle
  • Fetishized or babyish clothing with a visible diaper waistband or crotch
  • Skirts short enough that they cannot hide the lowest part of the diaper

 

For the most part, this should all be common sense. Save the obvious baby-play and the heavy, multiple-wetting diapers for more private spaces. Wear your diapers in public with confidence, but without flaunting them.

Remember — choosing to wear a diaper is a normal, healthy option for adults. Getting off on doing it in public is not. That’s involving other people in your sex life without their consent. Keep it classy when you go diapered in public!